No babies

Yesterday (Monday, 7/30) we did a blood pregnancy test that came back negative. We're pretty heartbroken about it as you can well imagine (the actual mix of emotions is pretty hard to describe, though sad and angry cover it best).

In any case, we continue to thank you for your prayers and support and ask that you would continue on, both as we work through this and as we make plans for what happens next.

More Needles, More Drugs

I had more bloodwork today. This was supposed to be the last time until my pregnancy test, however, my estrogen level came back on the lower side of normal (and my doctor is an over-achiever) so he started me on estrogen pills, along with the estrogen patch and progesterone shots, and I will have to go back for more bloodwork on Friday. I am glad my doctor is over cautious though and wants to do everything possible in order for this to work.

Thanks again for all your prayers. Please keep them coming as we still have some waiting until we find out if we were successful.

The Wait

While we wait to find out whether the IVF worked, I am trying to take it easy for the next few days. I have also been getting daily IM (intramuscular) injections of progesterone in oil. In a normal cycle, after a woman ovulates, the ruptured follicle produces progesterone until the placenta starts to produce progesterone around the end of the first trimester. Because I did not ovulate normally and had my eggs retrieved, that is why I have to take progesterone shots. So, if I get pregnant, I will most likely have to continue to progesterone shots for 10-12 more weeks.

I had to go to a hospital today to have blood drawn. My doctor called back and wants to increase my progesterone dosage and I will now be wearing an estrogen patch. The hormones are definitely raging. (Poor Scott).

I'll have more bloodwork on Wednesday to check my progesterone and estrogen levels.

We continue to be amazed everytime we read the comments on our blog and cannot thank everyone enough for their prayers.

Transfer time

Today we got up, did our morning shot in the "hip" (that's doctor speak for "buttocks"), had some eggs for breakfast, ran some errands, and around 2:30 transferred our embryo's. The doctor said that our two were in super condition and had already formed into morulas, which is the stage that the embryo usually is at after about 4 days (ours were at day 3.33 or so). So things are looking really good.

Generally speaking, embryos are transferred back in on day 3 as 8-cell organisms or on day 5 as blastocysts. Our's are somewhere in the middle of that, having already begun compacting and developing into specific cells (aka, the baby, the placenta, the sac, etc...).

The next step is that Lez has to stay in bed, flat on her back for the next 24 hours, the first six of which she isn't supposed to get up at all. We also will continue the progesterone shots that we're now doing every morning. Today was the second day of those...if the pregnancy holds, we'll do that every day for the next 10 weeks (I like to say "70 days" but Lez likes "10 weeks" b/c that sounds shorter). The bed rest is so that nothing moves around, allowing the embryos to settle in nicely into the place where the doctor put them.

Implantation should occur within the next 10 days or so, and before too terribly long we will find out just how successful this IVF adventure has been.

We can't say enough how much we appreciate all the prayers that have gone up on our behalf and ask that you continue to keep us and our possible babies in your prayers. We consider it a miracle that our two eggs were of such good quality and have not only survived (as many eggs that get fertilized never develop into embryos or survive past a day or two) but have taken off like they are on a mission. Again, thanks for your prayers and concern.

Still Hanging in There

Both embryos are hanging on. All our prayers are definitely working. It is really a miracle we haven't lost one.

I have my embryo transfer tomorrow at 2:30. We will put both back in. Then I am on strict bedrest for 24 hours. I will have Scott post tomorrow when we get home to update everyone.

Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers. I will feel so much better tomorrow when those embryos are put back in their home. Hopefully, they will make themselves very comfy.

We're Still in the Game

Well, out of the four we have two left. Two were not mature. The two that were mature have been fertilized and the dr says they look good so far. Although, we are not out of the woods yet. Either embryo could stop developing or they could split unevenly. Please pray for our embryos, that they will make it to Thursday when they will be transferred back into me.

Egg Retrieval

Well...not horrible news, but not fantastic either. I had about 12-15 follicles, and the ultrasounds showed I should have gotten between 8-10 eggs. However, we only got 4. We are pretty disappointed, because this doesn't leave much room for error. The dr said this happens from time to time, either my follicles were empty, or the eggs in the larger follicles were not maturing like they were supposed to. In a normal cycle, when I had only one follicle, I probably wasn't producing an egg. So, he said this is most likely the reason why we haven't gotten pregnant yet. He also said, it could very well be caused by the endometriosis.

Usually, not all the eggs they get will be mature, not all the mature eggs will fertilize, and not all the eggs that fertilize will develop normally and be viable for transfer. So, we are hoping the 4 we got were super quality. Also, because we only got 4 instead of just putting the eggs and the sperm together and letting them do their thing, they are going to ICSI all four eggs. That means they will take one sperm and inject it into an egg. This means, a greater chance of fertilization, but it also makes the eggs a little more fragile.

We'll get a call from the dr tomorrow, to tell us how fertilization went and how they are developing. If we have any that make it, they will be transferred back on Thurs.

Please keep us in your prayers, we REALLY need them now. We are hoping for a miracle and that all eggs will make it to embryos so we can put 2 back in and freeze 2 for use later if we need them.

Ultrasound #3

Today I went for bloodwork, ultrasound #3 and a mock embryo transfer. The ultrasound showed that some of my smaller follicles did catch up, so I am hoping to get about 15 eggs, with about 10 being mature. So, I will do a "trigger shot" tonight, which will tell my body to ovulate. Then on Monday morning I go in for the egg retrieval.

The retrieval will be an outpatient surgery. Thankfully, I will be put out. They take a needle and put it through the vaginal wall and aspirate the eggs out of the follicles. I'll find out that day how many eggs I have, and we will find out Tuesday how many eggs fertilized. Then on Thursday, hopefully we will have some viable embryos and I will have the embryo transfer. The embryo transfer is an easier procedure. They run a catheter with the embryos inside up into my uterus (guided by ultrasound) and deposit the embryos into my uterus. I am awake and get to watch this procedure on the ultrasound. This is what they practiced for today and it didn't hurt, just a little uncomfortable. On Thursday, they will give me a Valium, so I should be good and relaxed.

Thank you again for all the thoughts and prayers. Please continue to pray, specifically for the doctor to be able to get a lot of eggs, for my eggs to be good quality and for them to be able to be fertilized.

Ultrasound #2

Things are going well. My bigger follicles are slowly growing, and some of the smaller follicles look like they might catch up. My dr doubled my medication for the next two nights in hopes of helping the smaller follicles along. He thinks we should get 8-12 eggs out for the retrieval procedures. I go back again on Saturday for another ultrasound and more bloodwork. We'll know more after that visit about when the retrieval will be next week.

Thanks again for all your thoughts and prayers. I know they are working.

Ultrasound #1

I went to the dr yesterday to have an ultrasound. He measured 6-8 larger follicles and then there were about 6 more that were smaller. I was hoping for a few more larger follicles (some women get 20-30 follicles), but I am trying to think positive. I also don't know if my body can produce 20-30 follicles safely. Last month, I had 6-8 large follicles and my estrogen level reached a really high level and I was at risk for hyperstimulating. That is why I am on a very low dose of medication this month. Hopefully some of the smaller follicles will catch up in the next few days. I go back again tomorrow for another ultrasound and more bloodwork.

As a side note, I was able to give myself my morning injection for the first time today. I have been lucky to have a very supportive husband that has given me all of my injections so far. Our schedules didn't work out today, so I had to do it myself. I shocked myself and I didn't feel it.

So Far, So Good

I went to the doctor today for bloodwork to check my estrogen levels. Theoretically, your estrogen level is about 200 for every mature egg you have. My eggs won't be mature yet, but they can watch this level rise as I use the stimulation medication to indicate how many eggs I have. They also don't want your estrogen level to get too high, because you can get hyperstimulated, which is dangerous and can land you in the hospital. My doctor just called and said everything looks very good. So, I get to continue my mediation at the same amounts. I am really glad about that, because the mediation really burns as it's being injected and I didn't want to add any more liquid to either of my two nighttime shots.

I will go back to the doctor Tuesday for more bloodwork and for my first ultrasound. I can't wait for the ultrasound, it will show how many follicles I have growing. They measure the follicles on the ultrasound. When the follicles reach a certain size, they are supposed to contain mature eggs. I am feeling some movement, and fullness so I know I have follicles growing.

Thank you for all your prayers. They are working.

The Next Step

It's been a long time. We haven't heard a word from the adoption agency about any prospects. We are a bit disheartened by that and getting to be frustrated with the agency we are working with. We thought when we stopped infertility treatment two years ago, that adoption would be much easier because all we had to do was wait. No drugs, no doctors visits every other day, no raging hormones. We thought we would get picked and bring home a baby and it would be so easy. Boy, we were wrong.

Shortly after we got home after the failed adoption, we decided that we didn't just want to sit around and wait anymore. We decided to be proactive and put our eggs (no pun intended) into as many baskets as possible. We just want a baby, we don't care whether he/she comes through adoption or through pregnancy. So, I contacted a new doctor that one of my friends recommended to me. He has been great and we are really happy that we changed doctors. We had an unsuccessful IUI (intrauterine insemination) last month. We were pretty disappointed because I responded so well to the medication this time, as compared to two years ago. The doctor was baffled. I am getting really tired of hearing "You should be pregnant by now, we just don't know why it hasn't happened yet."

So, we decided to jump into IVF (invitrofertilization). I had surgery a month ago to prepare my body for the IVF. Then I started daily Lupron injections a week and a half ago. Lupron basically shuts down your pituitary gland to stop it from producing hormones so that we can control my body with the drugs. People were telling me to prepare for instant menopause. It really hasn't been too bad yet, I've only had a few hot flashes. Today, I had an ultrasound to clear me for my stimulation drugs. The stimulation drugs are what cause my ovaries to grow lots of follicles (hopefully). So, today I got to have three shots in my belly. Let me just say, I hate shots.

Here is a picture of all the drugs that I will take this month. So, far the side effects I've had are hot flashes and being very tired. I am also a pretty emotional person anyway, but I cry at the drop of the hat. My poor husband is going to have to deal with a crazy woman this month.




I'll go to the doctor pretty much every other day for blood work and ultrasounds to watch my follicles grow and then in about 10-12 days I'll have an egg retrieval. Then three days later I'll have an egg transfer.

I know this is a lot of information, and some of you may not find it very interesting. However, before we started this infertility business I knew nothing about any of this. I never knew what some people had to go through to have children. I just want everyone to know what we are doing.

Please pray for us. Pray that my body won't fail us again. Pray that the drugs will do what they are supposed to do. Please also continue to pray for our potential adoption. We would love to be able to experience both adoption and pregnancy as ways to grow our family.

Sad News

We found out yesterday that the parents decided to keep the baby. We are waffling between heartbroken and anger right now. Please keep us in your prayers as we make our way home and make decisions about our next steps to bring a child home.

Due Date Passed, No Baby Yet

No baby yet. No contractions, no nothing. I just talked to the birthmother and she said her doctor would let her go two weeks overdue before inducing. We are praying hard that she will not go two weeks over and that we will meet this baby very soon. I think we will go stir crazy if we are in this hotel room for much longer.

Hazel

We brought Hazel with us on our trip to Iowa. Had to share this picture of her asleep on the console in the car. I don't know how she was comfortable. She was so bored and ready to get out of the car once we got here.

Hello from Iowa

Well, we are here in Iowa, waiting for the baby to make his debut. We are getting a little antsy in our hotel room and hope he will be here soon.

We met the birthparents last night for dinner. It was a little awkward (kind of like a first date), but we think it went well and hope they are still happy with choosing us.

We'll try to keep the blog updated as major developments occur. Thanks for all your prayers.

INTRODUCING...

Isn't he beautiful. Can't wait to meet him in person.

Exciting New!!!!

Well, it's been a long while since we created this blog. But, we finally have some exciting news to post. We have been matched and are "expecting" a baby boy on March 22, 2007. Scott and I are so excited and cannot wait until the big day arrives.

We finally got THE CALL on November 18. We received a voicemail from our agency as we were on vacation in London. It was our last full day in London and it really made our already good trip perfect.

So far, everything seems to be moving along very smoothly. We had our first phone conference with our potential birthparents last Wednesday and we think it went really well. I have also been corresponding every day by email with our potential birthmother. I hope it is helping them to get a glimpse of how life with us will be.

Thank you everyone for your prayers about our adoption progress. Scott and I have really felt calm and at ease the last few months, and I know that is God working through all our prayers.

Please continue to pray for this situation that everything will work out for the best of this precious baby boy.

Getting the room ready

Today we picked up the furniture for our nursery. We still have a bit of decorating to do, but we have a pretty good start on it. Now all we really need is the baby...so come on, phone, and RING!